


tired

by DarlingHazel



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Stress, asdhfbkasnd this is SHORT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24088663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingHazel/pseuds/DarlingHazel
Summary: Gordon is tired, and Benrey wants to help him out.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 37
Kudos: 366





	tired

“Gordon?”

Gordon’s eyes refocused on the man before him, standing straight with furrowed brows.

_I’m still here._

He exhales like it’s the hardest thing in the world to do, and straightens his back to match the guard. “Yeah, Benrey?”

“... Are you going in?” Benrey asks, not noticing the crack in his own voice.

_In._

_Back to work._

Gordon takes in some air, yet it uses up all his energy to be aware of breathing.

“Where?”

“The… lab?”

_The lab._

He doesn’t feel like going in there, kind of doesn’t want to _work_ anymore. Sure, being grouped with those other scientists like Tommy, Coomer and Bubby _was_ fun, it was a _blast,_ but Gordon’s just _tired_ of how up there their energy is, in contrast to how low down his is. He feels like he’s not quite a flame like they are, not quite as chaotic. Not quite as _fun._

But he’s not just _insecure._ He’s just _tired_ of everything that happens. He just kind of wants to go home and be able to punch in a few more hours of sleep, maybe have enough time to eat breakfast or something. Life just… feels like _so much work._

“You good, man?” Benrey’s brows manage to come down further, and Gordon can’t imagine it, there’s definitely _concern_ in his voice. _Why should he be concerned?_

“I don’t think I wanna go in today. Just gonna call in sick.”

A very on the spot decision, but Gordon needs just that little bit of freedom, even if he _knows_ he’ll start making it a habit and maybe even get fired or quit himself one day. It was all going so smooth.

Benrey’s shoulders tense then he looks at the other guard, who’s not paying them any attention, and he leans in.

“You sure?”

It’s quick, concise, and Gordon hesitates.

Biting the inside of his cheek, he looks down. “No.”

Benrey’s always been a little different.

Chaotic, but in such a _different_ way to the others. They made mistakes, vandalised a lot more than they’d like to admit, but _Benrey…_ He practically kissed the ass of his superiors with sarcasm, always so informal and encouraging the bending of rules, but never _breaking._ He’s the kind of chaos that doesn’t make Gordon feel insecure, the kind of chaos that makes Gordon curious.

Because what sane man would step into a room where his skin could melt off, all to tell somebody that they are missing their ID and must be taken somewhere for an inspection?

Just Benrey.

And Benrey, in all his flowing chaos, stares at Gordon with _emotion_ rather than the usual smug nonchalance, and he says with a loud voice, “I’ll escort you to your office, _sir.”_

“What?” Gordon’s eyes widen.

Without another moment wasted, Benrey grabs Gordon by the arm rather _firmly_ and opens the door. “It’s no problem, I do this all the time, Freeman. Your concerns are understood.”

_What?_

It comes out through gritted teeth, but when Gordon notices the other guard staring at them he can see why Benrey’s being rather _formal._

Obviously, the guard is suspicious, but Benrey’s words can’t be used against him and that’s all that matters as Gordon’s being pulled through the door and taken to… well, his office.

“Benrey, what are you _doing?”_ He hisses after a few minutes of letting his thoughts catch up, tugging at Benrey’s wrist. “Can you let go of me? Man, I just wanna fuckin’ go home.”

They come to a stop at a corner. Benrey turns around and pinches Gordon’s cheek.

“Ow -- ! What was _that_ for?”

“What’s up? You don’t look sick, bro.”

He rolls his eyes. “Of _course_ I don’t, it’s because I’m _not._ I just don’t feel like working today.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Because -- why do you care? It doesn’t matter.”

Benrey seems to pout at that, then lets go of Gordon’s wrist, pushing Gordon’s glasses up his nose to stop it from falling off. It makes Gordon lean into the heat, body so eager to just _rest._

He quickly takes notice of this and rubs Gordon’s cheek with his thumb for a second before pulling his hand back. “I dunno. I don’t… _care,_ I just care about the integrity of our company.”

“Bullshit,” Gordon laughs, and the air leaves his lungs so quickly he has to remind himself to _breathe_ again, “you don’t care about shit.”

“What do you mean? I’m a very caring person.”

 _That’s_ funny.

“Why don’t you wanna go to work?” Benrey continues with a frown.

Gordon groans, and lets it slip without thinking, “because I’m fucking _tired,_ Benrey.”

Benrey’s mouth drops into a small o.

The confession hangs heavy in the air above them. Gordon swallows, starts to feel lightheaded. “There,” his voice cracks, “I’m tired. Sick of getting up every day for stupid shit like this, dealing with my team, I’m just _tired._ I want to go home and relax for once. Don’t you ever get that feeling? Ben? Just wanting to _give up?”_

In front of him, Benrey looks with raised brows now, almost like _Gordon_ just said the dumbest thing in the world, and he wants to laugh. But he can’t breathe.

He can’t. He _can’t._ It’s getting overwhelming at this point, he realizes as his lungs start to ache.

“You’re an idiot,” Benrey breathes abruptly.

_What._

His eyes shine with something, and his voice felt _different._ It had been _soft._

Gordon scoffs. “Excuse me?”

Then, Benrey smiles with a sigh and he takes Gordon’s hand, “Hey, c’mon.” He starts walking around the corner and down the halls, a lot slower this time. “Still gotta get to your office.”

“Did you not just hear what I said? Benrey, I’m --”

“Small steps, right? Just show up to work for now, and you can rest in your office, and I’ll wake you up if anything happens, bro. I’ll tell the others and they’ll cover for you.”

_Small steps._

Right.

Gordon tries to focus on stabilising his breathing as they walk, squeezing Benrey’s hand in his. It feels good to be there, feels _right,_ strangely enough. Is that _weird?_

Is it _weird_ to feel safe?

A while passes before they finally make it to Gordon’s office. Benrey opens the door with ease and pushes Gordon down into his chair by his desk. “Wait,” he instructs as he closes the door behind him and starts looking around the room for something.

And Gordon would ask, _what are you doing?,_ but his mouth opens and he can’t form words. Can’t find it in him to use any of his power for _anything._ So he shifts until he’s comfortable enough in his office chair, then lets his head rest in his arms on the desk, closing his eyes.

Breathing is easier now.

Benrey’s voice raises behind him. “Here --” but his sentence is cut short, seemingly from having noticed Gordon all ready to sleep. “You’re a baby.”

“Mmmh,” Gordon hums into his elbow, letting the cold air expand his lungs and leave his nose. Breathing. He doesn’t really want to see Benrey _go,_ now.

Then a blanket is draped over Gordon, a warm and soft one that he must have stored away at some point or something, and Benrey leans in. “I’ll be outside.”

“No,” he manages, twisting one of his arms out from under him to grab Benrey’s wrist. “Stay.”

“I,” Benrey hesitates. “Okay.”

He plops himself on the ground by Gordon’s knees once he’s let go of, and sits there with his legs crossed, looking stiffly ahead. Gordon can’t quite sleep with that.

“... so, you’ve never thought about a break?” He asks in the quiet.

Benrey bites his lips. “Nope.”

Gordon hums with a stupid smile, he can’t help himself. “Think the others will really ask about our absence?”

“Uh, not really. I dunno.”

“You don’t think a lot, do you?”

“Nah, man.” Benrey snorts. Gordon rolls his eyes and lets his arm drop to grab at Benrey’s helmet, “Take it off.”

When the guard obliges, Gordon takes a peek at the mess of black on his head, “Cute,” he supplies quickly before ruffling up the soft hair.

“Gotta look pretty for my homies.”

He laughs weakly, then lets his hand rest on Benrey’s jaw. The inky-haired guard looks up at him with observant eyes, a small attempt at a smile.

“You’re cute,” Gordon lets slip. But he won’t think about it, not when he’s so relaxed.

Benrey smiles wider, more genuinely and lets his head fall onto Gordon’s lap. “Aw. I know.”

But his face is pink, and his eyes are _shining,_ so Gordon chuckles and keeps his hand on Benrey’s face, stroking the stubble that’s starting to grow ever slightly. “Why do you care?”

“I look out for my bros.”

_Of course._

Gordon huffs to calm down his racing heart, and hums. “Okay, then. Good night. Take a break for once and sleep with me.”

Benrey hesitates. But then he nods, pecking the palm of Gordon’s, “Sure. Good night, Gordon.”

He reluctantly pretends he didn’t feel that and closes his eyes. A relaxing wave washes over him, easing him into his sleep and swallowing him whole. It’s the best he’s felt in awhile. If anyone calls, they’ll never know. It’s just him and Benrey in this room now, and it’s… honestly, amazing.

Then, right before Gordon slips into a temporary blackness, he hears Benrey’s voice, tender and low, careful and deliberate.

_“Je t’aime.”_

A smile tugs at his lips and the sleep that follows is the best sleep he’s ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i am back and asdfbhSBFDHDB i totally missed out on more lovey dovey action i'll do that on my next fic i swear,,, ... i did my best
> 
> (i'm not well versed in french at all but i'm pr sure benrey said "i love you" at the end ??? hHDGBFH)


End file.
